Darcy Schmidt Naked Artist
presentsThe NAKED Project
undressing the issues
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Darcy Schmidt Naked ArtistpresentsThe NAKED Project undressing the issues |
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Diary of a Naked Artist April 21st, 2002 The Sun Run |
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SUN |  |
RUN |  |
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| The race starts at 9:00am on a SUNDAY so it has obviously been organized by someone with a lame social life. | The 42,143 of us who are foolish enough to be up that hour are let loose in waves. The last wave leaves around 9:40am. | I am in the final wave (the expected slowest) and have been standing around for over an hour before we start to run. | ||||||
| I have no idea why I am in this race. I haven't ran further than to the corner bus stop since, like, 1980, and even though I am lookin' good in my hot pink outfit I am totally outta shape. I get lots of whistles, though, and that's what I like! |  |
I know a camera crew when I see one and make sure I wave and burst into a healthy stride whenever there is a chance of having my picture taken. I've had a few days to practice waving and it has paid off. You gotta look good for the press! |  |
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| Everyone in the race has been assigned a numbered bib. That's how they know who you are. Like government. |  |
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The bibs are meant to be pinned to your t-shirt. I am not wearing a "t" so I have pinned mine to my zebra jock strap. If you take a long hard look at my ample crotch you will see that I am #54062. I make certain I am smiling for this close-up. |  |
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I manage to run most of the 10 kilometre route in spite of my bulky, stifling hot suit and black boots in lieu of running shoes. And I don't want to get into how many times I stopped so people could take my picture. Or how many times I had to pry curious hands off my pecs & bubble butt. |  |
I give one last wave to the press as I cross the finish line. The 10 K has taken me a mere 83 minutes and 16 seconds, and I have placed 21,553rd out of 42,143. Not bad for a pink guy! | |||
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After the race I walk back downtown to where I have stashed my clothes. I almost freeze to death 'cause I am no longer workin' it and it's really way to cold outside to be naked! I stop for one last picture outside of Pacific Centre but nobody wants to come near me 'cause I have run a long way in a hot suit and I stink. Badly. | END | ||
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